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Tuesday 21 June 2011

Indian state declares war against mathematics

In a fiery press conference, the U.P. Chief Minister came down hard on mathematics as being party to a Brahmanical conspiracy. Welfare of the backward classes has been the cornerstone of her victories in six consecutive state elections. While an average of 57% of the state budget goes into construction of Mayawati statues and landmarks dedicated to her (the remaining 43% going towards funding the states’ massive civil service force) her popularity stems from steadily increasing the reservation levels for the backward classes. 
 
With reservations in all sectors having reached the apparently logical limit of 100% in the state, sources closed to the C.M. informed fakingnews of her grave disappointment of pursuing her agenda further. Mayawati put down the limitation of 100% of an ages old brahmanical conspiracy to limit the growth of Dalit power. In her press conference she cited the presence of two units of zero, which was invented by a Brahmin centuries ago, in 100%, as definitive proof of this artificial limitation. She has called for a nationwide stir to protest her inability to reserve more than a 100% of seats in the police, army, the judiciary, private and public jobs and in schools and colleges.
 
While some civil servants privately questioned the logic of the stir which could only lead to rioting they fear making public their view on this issue. Opposition politicians have been gobsmacked with the choice between making reservations that are beyond 100% or then appearing to be anti-backward class. But the C.M. has no dearth of followers with politicians in Delhi echoing her decision. Sonia Gandhi, after a long silence has come out in favour of this move saying “This is exactly the sort of out-of-the-box thinking that will take our country forward after the precipitous fall in the GDP over the last decade”. Her son, who is also the Prime Minister, also supported the move saying that this was a subject that he has often discussed with the poor dalits at whose homes he spent several nights in when he was a youth leader.
 
Intellectuals have also supported this move with Arundhati Roy joining issue on the concept on brahmanical conspiracy and cited everything from movies, to cricket, to the butterfly style of swimming as other examples of this wide-spread threat.  Most members of the so-called upper classes that are now living in abject poverty in India or affluent lives abroad were indifferent to the outcome of the controversy.
 
In the meanwhile, we hear that the issue of reserving over 100% has now become a hot potato that is being passed between the Department of Science and technology, Department of Personnel, the Law Department and the PMO amongst others on its implementation.

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