In what is seen as a monumental counter-attack on terror groups across the border, the Indian government today issued an ordinance declaring India an ‘Islamic Republic’. Home minister P Chidambaram (now Maulana Abdul Aziz) said this bold move was designed to take the wind out of terrorist’s sails. "This will make their war with India meaningless and leave them with no option but to lay down arms and take part in the democratic political process", he added with a wide grin.
The move is also being supported by the law & order establishment with ATS chief Raghuvanshi (now Rehmaan Mehfooz) coming out in support. Given the ability of terrorists to strike at will, Mr. Mehfooz hailed this Gandhian move as the best way forward.
Mani Iyer (Gani Bhai) lavished praise on Sonia Gandhi (Sania Ghandy) and Rahul (Rahil Ghandy) for devising this fool-proof plan to tackle terror once and for all with minimal bloodshed. Gani bhai rubbished charges of the move being akin to ‘giving up’ by making a very pointed argument "…this is hardly a laying down of arms. This is in fact a fresh salvo on terror that more developed nations have been unable to make. This will force terrorists to dig deeper to come up with reasons to continue with this mindless violence and make them introspect. After all we don’t really want to get rid of these people. If we did then why would we take such good care of Mohammed Afzal, Ajmal Kasab and the others? We just want them to better adjust…and what better way for their adjustment than to completely change ourselves. After all Gandhiji had said that we have to be the change that we want to see in the world".
The ordinance highlighted some very interesting social dynamics, most of them completely unexpected by even the most seasoned experts. The foremost among which have been protests by Muslims, contrary to expectations that they would welcome the move. “Earlier, we used to be the favoured children of the country; we got Hajj subsidies that even Pakistan does not offer to its citizens. We got reservations, preference, money for our votes during elections and general all-round sympathy for our misguided youth. If the entire population becomes Muslim, then how do we remain special?! After all if everyone is special, then no one is. We will move the Supreme Court to consider reservations for original Muslims versus these neo-converts” shrieked a religious leader.
While protests from a very small section of the erstwhile majority Hindu population has been successfully and swiftly crushed, the government was also taken aback by the overwhelming welcome to the Bill by the vast majority of upper-caste Hindus. “With virtually a handful of seats available for our education, general discrimination against us in the media, in jobs and in the government we were living under pitiful conditions. What this Ordinance offers us really is a way out!” a relieved neo-convert gushed thanking the first family of the country for their foresight.
However, the neo-converts may be in for a nasty surprise. The ruling Congress in a bid to protect its original vote bank is considering the introduction of a caste system within the new single religion country. The caste-system will be on the lines specified in the Manusmriti, often mistakenly taken for the Hindu lawbook, to segregate the population for a more correct usage of limited resources of the state. There is talk of differing taxation and reservation policy for the different castes within the wider community. While this is strictly against the core tenets of Islam which recognises all Muslims as equal, these moves have suspiciously not found opposition even in the most orthodox clerics.
The BJP that has been unable to block the ordinance due to constant internal bickering concluded that it is best to adjust to the new reality instead of resisting the government. The Ordinance is expected to come into effect in the next thirty days.
The move is also being supported by the law & order establishment with ATS chief Raghuvanshi (now Rehmaan Mehfooz) coming out in support. Given the ability of terrorists to strike at will, Mr. Mehfooz hailed this Gandhian move as the best way forward.
Mani Iyer (Gani Bhai) lavished praise on Sonia Gandhi (Sania Ghandy) and Rahul (Rahil Ghandy) for devising this fool-proof plan to tackle terror once and for all with minimal bloodshed. Gani bhai rubbished charges of the move being akin to ‘giving up’ by making a very pointed argument "…this is hardly a laying down of arms. This is in fact a fresh salvo on terror that more developed nations have been unable to make. This will force terrorists to dig deeper to come up with reasons to continue with this mindless violence and make them introspect. After all we don’t really want to get rid of these people. If we did then why would we take such good care of Mohammed Afzal, Ajmal Kasab and the others? We just want them to better adjust…and what better way for their adjustment than to completely change ourselves. After all Gandhiji had said that we have to be the change that we want to see in the world".
The ordinance highlighted some very interesting social dynamics, most of them completely unexpected by even the most seasoned experts. The foremost among which have been protests by Muslims, contrary to expectations that they would welcome the move. “Earlier, we used to be the favoured children of the country; we got Hajj subsidies that even Pakistan does not offer to its citizens. We got reservations, preference, money for our votes during elections and general all-round sympathy for our misguided youth. If the entire population becomes Muslim, then how do we remain special?! After all if everyone is special, then no one is. We will move the Supreme Court to consider reservations for original Muslims versus these neo-converts” shrieked a religious leader.
While protests from a very small section of the erstwhile majority Hindu population has been successfully and swiftly crushed, the government was also taken aback by the overwhelming welcome to the Bill by the vast majority of upper-caste Hindus. “With virtually a handful of seats available for our education, general discrimination against us in the media, in jobs and in the government we were living under pitiful conditions. What this Ordinance offers us really is a way out!” a relieved neo-convert gushed thanking the first family of the country for their foresight.
However, the neo-converts may be in for a nasty surprise. The ruling Congress in a bid to protect its original vote bank is considering the introduction of a caste system within the new single religion country. The caste-system will be on the lines specified in the Manusmriti, often mistakenly taken for the Hindu lawbook, to segregate the population for a more correct usage of limited resources of the state. There is talk of differing taxation and reservation policy for the different castes within the wider community. While this is strictly against the core tenets of Islam which recognises all Muslims as equal, these moves have suspiciously not found opposition even in the most orthodox clerics.
The BJP that has been unable to block the ordinance due to constant internal bickering concluded that it is best to adjust to the new reality instead of resisting the government. The Ordinance is expected to come into effect in the next thirty days.
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