"Mee Nathuram..." (3) Nathuram's encounter with his ex-colleague turned traitor

(no intention to copyright infringement, only a translation to the best of my abilities of this brilliant, brilliant, brilliant play)

When in jail. Nathuram had a chance run in with Digambar Badge. Badge was a co-conspirator who had agreed to be the prosecution’s witness in exchange for his own freedom. In the play, Nathuram says that while the meeting seemed to occur by chance, he himself suspected it to be orchestrated by Inspector Sawant, the second in charge of the Parliament Street police station, where the FIR against Nathuram was registered.

The conversation went as follows:

DB: Pandit (referring to Nathuram)…I…(silence)…how are you? How is Tatyarao Savarkar? Is the Delhi cold bothering him? Else I can request someone to get some warm clothes for him. Hows Gopal? Hows Karkare? Madanlal Pahwa? All of you have ostracised me…you must all be very angry with me.

But Nathuram, you are very different, from all of us. You were aloof from ground realities always. Pain, loss of face, physical discomfort, you never felt. I even told Gopal one, that you are the embodiment of what Krishna said in the Gita. You are made of a different clay…no you are made of stone…clay can be fashioned anyway…you are rigid.

When yours and Gandhi’s eyes met for an instant before you pulled the trigger, he would have realised he is being assassinated by a worthy opponent.

But Nathuram, I am not a man like you, I am ordinary, or even less than that if you want to call me. You have no idea how I have been harassed mentally and physically. Well…you were also beaten…but that was out of emotional outrage…but trained physical pain inflicted on me was different.

The guard told me though…when he came to hit you, you looked straight in his eyes and he was unable to hit you at all. But I don’t have your eyes Nathuram, I could not hold my own in front of their sustained beatings. I was scared…scared of death. It was very easy to say things like “I am ready to die”, but the experience is not that easy. The mere thought that I might die was enough to scare me and the desire to live took over me.

Nathuram…I want to live, I want to live…at any cost. (starts crying)

No, you can all continue to blame me…I can carry this burden of sin…but I cannot give my life up. Because I am ordinary. Forgive me.

Nathuram: People who stand on two stones can never find their feet. When they look down they only see the deep valley and feel dizzy.

DB: Before you go, all I want to hear from you is that you have forgiven me.

NG: There is no use for repentence, there is no use for it because the deed is already done. If you think you are doing some something wrong, remove that thought from your mind. To try to live, to struggle to save ones own life is not a crime…its your dharma (duty)…nay…its your first and primary responsibility. But while saving your own life, you must be cognizant that you are not taking another innocent persons life. If you had said you are not a Hindu, I would have been ashamed of you. But if your ‘confession’ only strengthens calls for my death, even then I will not be angry at you. Because I am willing to die. An eye for an eye is the law of nature. Gandhi is dead then Nathuram must also die. But only take care that your confession in 100% true. For even saving your life do not lie in court. Tatyarao is innocent…if someone is trying to implicate him through you, then you will not have forgiveness even in God’s court. Tatyarao is a diamond and we are just the setting for it, the setting should shape itself as per the diamond, not even try to eclipse it. You can leave now.

Who are we to worry about the Sun? When we think that the Sun is eclipsed, it is the defect in our sight…we are looking at the sun from a wrong place. When man goes to the moon, he will realise, the Sun is never eclipsed. 


(as a quick background, even though Veer Savarkar had nothing to do with Gandhi's assasination, he was arrested and allegedly Nehru tried to frame him. Veer Savarkar was so popular and fiery that Nehru was scared of his influence. In fact, when the arrest orders were issued, the policemen from the van that used to always tail him, were scared of arresting him in the afternoon, not wanting to disturb his siesta. Digambar Badge, was a coward in his own admission and decided to rat on Nathuram, Nathuram only cautoned him on falling to the governments ploy of implicating an innocent Savarkar in this matter. It is possible that this last 2 minute conversation made Digambar see the light and made him commit only the smaller of two mistakes. No evidence was found aginst Savarkar and he was released with no taint in this matter)