"Mee Nathuram..." (3) Nathuram's encounter with his ex-colleague turned traitor

(no intention to copyright infringement, only a translation to the best of my abilities of this brilliant, brilliant, brilliant play)

When in jail. Nathuram had a chance run in with Digambar Badge. Badge was a co-conspirator who had agreed to be the prosecution’s witness in exchange for his own freedom. In the play, Nathuram says that while the meeting seemed to occur by chance, he himself suspected it to be orchestrated by Inspector Sawant, the second in charge of the Parliament Street police station, where the FIR against Nathuram was registered.

The conversation went as follows:

DB: Pandit (referring to Nathuram)…I…(silence)…how are you? How is Tatyarao Savarkar? Is the Delhi cold bothering him? Else I can request someone to get some warm clothes for him. Hows Gopal? Hows Karkare? Madanlal Pahwa? All of you have ostracised me…you must all be very angry with me.

But Nathuram, you are very different, from all of us. You were aloof from ground realities always. Pain, loss of face, physical discomfort, you never felt. I even told Gopal one, that you are the embodiment of what Krishna said in the Gita. You are made of a different clay…no you are made of stone…clay can be fashioned anyway…you are rigid.

When yours and Gandhi’s eyes met for an instant before you pulled the trigger, he would have realised he is being assassinated by a worthy opponent.

But Nathuram, I am not a man like you, I am ordinary, or even less than that if you want to call me. You have no idea how I have been harassed mentally and physically. Well…you were also beaten…but that was out of emotional outrage…but trained physical pain inflicted on me was different.

The guard told me though…when he came to hit you, you looked straight in his eyes and he was unable to hit you at all. But I don’t have your eyes Nathuram, I could not hold my own in front of their sustained beatings. I was scared…scared of death. It was very easy to say things like “I am ready to die”, but the experience is not that easy. The mere thought that I might die was enough to scare me and the desire to live took over me.

Nathuram…I want to live, I want to live…at any cost. (starts crying)

No, you can all continue to blame me…I can carry this burden of sin…but I cannot give my life up. Because I am ordinary. Forgive me.

Nathuram: People who stand on two stones can never find their feet. When they look down they only see the deep valley and feel dizzy.

DB: Before you go, all I want to hear from you is that you have forgiven me.

NG: There is no use for repentence, there is no use for it because the deed is already done. If you think you are doing some something wrong, remove that thought from your mind. To try to live, to struggle to save ones own life is not a crime…its your dharma (duty)…nay…its your first and primary responsibility. But while saving your own life, you must be cognizant that you are not taking another innocent persons life. If you had said you are not a Hindu, I would have been ashamed of you. But if your ‘confession’ only strengthens calls for my death, even then I will not be angry at you. Because I am willing to die. An eye for an eye is the law of nature. Gandhi is dead then Nathuram must also die. But only take care that your confession in 100% true. For even saving your life do not lie in court. Tatyarao is innocent…if someone is trying to implicate him through you, then you will not have forgiveness even in God’s court. Tatyarao is a diamond and we are just the setting for it, the setting should shape itself as per the diamond, not even try to eclipse it. You can leave now.

Who are we to worry about the Sun? When we think that the Sun is eclipsed, it is the defect in our sight…we are looking at the sun from a wrong place. When man goes to the moon, he will realise, the Sun is never eclipsed. 


(as a quick background, even though Veer Savarkar had nothing to do with Gandhi's assasination, he was arrested and allegedly Nehru tried to frame him. Veer Savarkar was so popular and fiery that Nehru was scared of his influence. In fact, when the arrest orders were issued, the policemen from the van that used to always tail him, were scared of arresting him in the afternoon, not wanting to disturb his siesta. Digambar Badge, was a coward in his own admission and decided to rat on Nathuram, Nathuram only cautoned him on falling to the governments ploy of implicating an innocent Savarkar in this matter. It is possible that this last 2 minute conversation made Digambar see the light and made him commit only the smaller of two mistakes. No evidence was found aginst Savarkar and he was released with no taint in this matter)

"Mee Nathuram Godse..." (2) Nathuram's meeting with Gandhi's son

(no intention to copyright infringement, only a translation to the best of my abilities of this brilliant, brilliant, brilliant play)

Another interesting meeting that Nathuram has as depicted in “Mee Nathuram…” was with Debidas Gandhi, M.K. Gandhi’s son. This was their second meeting, the first one being the day on which Nathuram was arrested. At the first meeting Nathuram, expressed sorrow at the personal loss of the Gandhi family and expressed regret at the circumstances which left Nathuram with no choice but to do what he did. He clarified that as a person he did not have a problem with Gandhi, what he did was purely for the country and a political necessity. He told Debidas then that he would elaborate on the motive at a later date…but Gandhi’s son never met him again for almost two years after that and showed up only 8 days prior to the hanging, proposing to re-open Nathuram’s case and argue for a lenient punishment. Notably at this time Nathuram was completely at ease with the idea of being hung and used to spend a lot of his time with the staff that was setting up the hanging post and discussing the procedure and if he could offer help in setting it up.

Anyway, the conversation between Gandhi’s son and Nathuram went something like this:

Debidas Gandhi: How can you be so aloof about your death?

NG: Because I am, I just am!

NG: How are you here today? You found time only after two years!

DG: I needed signatures on a few legal papers. Papers that say that I have accepted you as my client.

NG: Signature should be taken from clients, should a client not ask the reason why? Especially since I have argued my own case in court and my case is over and decided.

DG:  But you ignored some points. I can challenge your death penalty on those grounds.

NG: But I want to be hung!

DG: Why?

NG: Because I have taken a human life. A killer has no right to life. I do not wish to hand my case to you.

DG: Why?

NG: I knew what you wanted to say the moment you asked me to sign the legal papers. But I avoided going into details because I did not want to offend you. I will tell you now. Are you not going to argue on the lines of “Gandhi did not agree with himsa…so even his murderer should not be killed”? But that is not the law, is it not the lawyers duty to explain the law to his client before asking to defend his case? The law does not recognise emotions and personal jealousies or brownie points.

DG: Do you mean to say I am here for some selfish reason?

NG: I don’t ‘mean’ to say that, I am saying it. Debidasji, if you wanted to accept someone as your client, why did you not accept Tatyarao Savarkar, why not Nana Apte?! Why did you not stand up to protect these innocent people? You have chosen only Nathuram for your magnanimity, why? It is all a vain attempt on your part to somehow prove the relevance of your fathers belief of turning the other cheek, is it not?

Forgive me for saying so Debidasji, but the capacity to think of Gandhi as a ideology beyond the confines of his personal image is possible for me, not for you.

DG: So what have you thought about Gandhi as an ideology?

NG: I have thought a lot, but you have delayed asking this question by two years. Have you thought about this at all? I had told you when I was arrested that my motive was purely political and not personal, but you still are not convinced, and perhaps have come here to explore this further. But you found time for that only now…because you know in eight days…there will be no one here to answer your questions…and your mind will eat at you for the rest of your life. Sit. Should I call for coffee for you?

I am writing my will. Do you know what my first, last wish? That my ashes should not be immersed in the holy river till such time the Sindhu river is not brought back into my undivided India. I don’t care if my ashes have to be handed down through generations, but keep them safe.

Devidasji, you are aware that in the Hindu Dharma, ashes are immersed in the holy rivers on the 10^th day after death. Till that time they are kept at the door of the deceased house. Till the immersion takes place, it is believed that the soul is not free. But I want to keep my soul entangled on purpose, I do not want liberation.

Do you know why? Because just like Gandhi is your father, he is my nation’s father. Gandhi had said about his death, that his ashes should be immersed in all great rivers of India. But Pakistan refused permission to immerse his ashes in the Sindhu on the grounds that Gandhi was a hindu saint. Would the pure water of Sindhu be defiled by the touch of the Mahatma’s ashes?!

I had then written to the government of India, requesting them to keep atleast a small portion of Gandhi’s ashes safe. Because it is inevitable that the brave soldiers of this country will at some point drag the Sindhu back into the border of this country. The, Gandhi’s ashes should be immersed in the Sindhu. And this HAS to happen, because this country is of Bhaghirath’s, of people who are capable of pulling the Ganga to earth from the heavens. But my request letter was trashed. There is no doubt then that Gandhi’s soul is suffering over this last insult to him, his last wish being left unfulfilled.

I do not want Gandhi’s soul to suffer alone, hence I will not let my soul be free on the 10^th day after my death. There are no enemies beyond death, it is said. But there is only one Nathuram who actually sticks to the ideals that he has believed in his life, even in his death.

Debidasji, I had no personal enmity with your father, but to extinguish his physical presence was necessary for the benefit of my country. I may not be a genius, but I have spent a few years of my life in the company of brilliant people. I was never rich, but I always had enough to eat. I had a position in society, respect and standing. I knew I was giving all this up when I decided to assassinate Gandhi. I chose death, I could have run away after shooting Gandhi like a coward. I did not do that...so I could tell the world my side of the story, because I HAD a story to tell, I had my own independent thoughts and philosophy.

DG: I am not saying this because he was my father…but he was a great man…

NG: There is not question of that! Of course, he was a great man! What is the truth, is the truth, it is not dependent on whether I agree to it or not. His daring fight against discrimination in South Africa is proof of that. On his return to India, this efforts to travel to rural India to understand the real Indian, is fully deserving of respect. Dandi March, Quit India, Salt March…all these agitations made me a worshipper of Gandhi. When Gandhi was arrested, I was one of the many protestors who shouted the slogan “Sabarmati no sant jail ma chhe” (The saint of Sabarmati is in jail).

DG: How could you still kill him?

NG: The ‘assasination’ was necessary, there was no option left. Gandhi’s decision to split India was avoidable. After that, the massacre of refugees and Gandhi’s cold response to that. After that, his childish tantrum on giving Pakistan money to buy weapons against out soldiers, when the battle was already on in Kashmir…all this…all this…was unforgivable.

DG: But he never saw people in terms of hindus or muslims…

NG: But Pakistan did! And that is the biggest sign of Gandhi’s failure. If you think Pakistan did not think in terms of religion, then why did they not allow Gandhi’s ashes to be immersed in the Sindhu? When Gandhi died, you are as aware as I am that the Pakistan National radio announced that a ‘hindu leader’ had died! This is all I was trying to tell Gandhi, that you are ours, but he insisted in saying.. NO…I am not yours, I am theirs.

DG: But he belonged to all humans…not to hindus or muslims or Indians or Pakistanis…he was everyones!

NG: Then why did he fight the British? Are they not human? Why did he fight the white people in South Africa? Arent they humans?

DG: You would have made a good lawyer.

NG: Your career advice is a little delayed now. But the reality is that much more than me, Gandhi’s alleged students and Gandhians are his real detractors. I shot him, he fell and at the last moment all he said was “Ah..”. But his students have spread the false rumour that Gandhi said “Hey Ram”.

DG: Do you mean to say, he did not say Hey Ram?

NG: No he did not. I was tortured at every stage to falsely confess in my declaration to the police, to the magistrate and in the court that Gandhi said “Hey Ram”. But they were unable to break me. If he did not take Rams name, then why should I lie! But if his minions keep harping on this and it gets incorrectly recorded in the history books, then this itself will be the biggest defeat of Gandhi and his ideals. Do you know why?

In life, this man never differentiated between Ram and Rahim, Krishna and Karim,  will such a person remember only Ram at his last moment? Why would he not take both names? And if he wanted to take just one name, he would have said Rahim…because Ram was always in his heart and Rahim was always on his tounge.

*On 15^th November 1949, Nathuram Godse and Nana Apte were hung at 8AM. They carried in their hands, a saffron flag, a map showing undivided India and a copy of the Bhagwad Gita. When the noose was placed around their neck, they both shouted “May undivided India be immortal” and “Vande Mataram” and then they went silent forever.*

Introduction to Mee Nathuram Godse Boltoy…

(no intention to copyright infringement, only a translation to the best of my abilities of this brilliant, brilliant, brilliant play)

Nathuram Godse is a much derided figure in India because he is only projected as a one-dimensional personality. Someone who was a killer, a clinically mad person, who took a gun and shot Gandhi. Its never as simple as that…or as Nathuram says in the play, “murders can be simple…but never assassinations. I assassinated Gandhi”. Society has since ensured that Nathuram’s point of view was never brought to light, that no one was able to hear both sides of the story and the concept of natural justice in society’s eyes, basically died.

The play “Mee Nathuram Godse Boltoy…” is a landmark play in that it attempts to bring out Nathuram’s point of view on the assassination. He highlights how in his view the assassination of Gandhi was inevitable and necessary for India to move ahead. It highlights how he had tried all other non-violent means endlessly before taking this route. While the play itself is unparalleled in artistic and ideological terms, just the introduction at the beginning of the play, given by Nathuram’s character, gives the viewer a good insight into context of the play. Whether one agrees or not with Nathuram, atleast he was a person who deserves more than to be written off by a politicians hand.

Despite violent protests by Gandhians, the play has done more than 600 shows in the last ten years, all of which were houseful. The play has been performed at various places ranging from metros to naxal affected places such as Chandrapur. The lead character (Nathuram) is played by Sharad Ponkshe who I believe is easily one of the best actors in India…and also the bravest. He once started the 2-2.5 hour play at 9 PM, but could finish it only at 6.30 the next morning. Reason, Congress that defended MF Hussain’s right to draw whatever he pleased, sent 150 goons to disrupt his show. Sharad stood his ground (unlike Hussain who fled from a mere court hearing and accepted citizenship of a country that has NO freedom of speech) and completed his show at the risk of death, and seeing this, none of his audience members retreated either. I am translating to English the introduction to the play so make it accessible to everyone who does not speak or understand Marathi.

…

“All your faces are unknown to me. Frankly speaking, the word ‘unknown’ itself is wrong as in the word itself, the presence of ‘knowing’ is felt. You faces are new to me. New…not unfamiliar. The young among you may not have been born then and the state regulated school textbooks have since described me to you as nothing more than a ‘hindu madman’. The middle aged among you may remember that period through which their parents that were fleeing the massacre of Maharashtrian Brahmins, wondered “who is this Nathuram? Why are our houses being burnt because of him?” Yes, but the very old among you must remember me. Many may have read my articles in newspapers, my editorials (and Nana Apte’s) in the Agarani newspaper, heard my speeches and even met me in person. But that meeting and this acquaintance, they have consistently denied since 30th January 1948!

But will they be here? Who will bring such old people here? So old?! My age-group? Do you know my age? I am 93. You will say I am lying…that I look much younger! But the secret of my ever-lasting youth is my death, untimely death. Don’t you think death is actually a boon that gives one ever lasting youth? Try thinking about someone close to you who is no more, someone who has died 20-25 years ago. Can you see wrinkles on her face? Her teeth must still be intact, her jet black hair must still be flowing in the wind…and your hair? Uh Uh…don’t touch your head…you may not find anything there at all!So your friend is young, because your friend is dead! The curse of old age is only for a living body.

This blessing of ever lastng youth was bestowed upon me by Tatyarao Savarkar (Veer Savarkar).

Tatyarao, I bow to you. The brilliance of the sun, the force of the wind, tenacity that would made an armour jealous and sharpness of intellect that will shame even Brihaspati (divine teacher of sciences and arts), the human personification of all these is the form of Tatyarao Savarkar.

I still remember that day, I was in jail and the enquiry was on. And without any proof or linkage, and with the sole purpose of harassment, this Bheeshmacharya (Savarkar) was arrested and brought to Delhi. I stood up the moment I saw him, I touched his feet. He blessed me saying “live forever”. I said…forgive me Tatyarao, but I don’t think I will be able to follow this order of yours! Tatyarao said, you don’t understand Nathuram, my blessing was not that you live a 100 years, my blessing is that you will live forever. And you have become immortal. The instant you pressed the trigger and Gandhi fell dead, that instant your name became immortal. Whether you killed Gandhian thoughts or not, is an issue open for debate, but you killed Gandhi and have yourself survived. Gandhi’s detractors, those hoping for a true Hindu Rashtra will place you on the thrones of their hearts, but even Gandhi’s supporters will make you immortal in his biographies. Just like no biography of Gandhi can begin without the mention of his parents, in the same way none of his biographies can be completed without mentioning you.

These were Tatyarao’s words…like etchings on a stone. Every word he spoke was an arrow that pierced souls and every word he wrote was like the Vedas, how could this blessing of his be wrong? So thus I am, a 93 year old, sent to the gallows at age 39, an untimely death. Untimely, but something that I had invited myself, something that I completely agreed with. But this everlasting youth…its like Ashwatthama’s. Ashwatthama is wandering till today looking for medicines to heal the deep wound on his forehead…my wound is in my heart, in my mind. How many blows I have taken, the riots in my country, the rapes of my mothers and sisters who are now refugees, the Rs550 million that we had to give away to Pakistan solely due to Gandhi’s childish tantrums and…the breaking up of my undivided Bharat and gifting of my Sindhu river to Pakistan. Ashwatthama wants medicines, all I want is to touch the pure water of the Sindhu. The longing for that touch is in my existence…for the last 50 years. I have written in my will, that my ashes should be handed down through generations, but unless all of the Sindhu river comes back into undivided Bharat, my ashes should not be immersed into the Ganga. (I want my soul to be tormented till then).

After reading my will, TS said, excellent Nathuram, you are the Dadhichi of modern India. Your ashes will become weapons. I said, Tatyarao, please don’t compare me to such a powerful person. It is true that Shivaji’s Bhavani sword was made of iron, but every piece of iron cannot become the Bhavani. But would he be Tatyarao if he could be rendered speechless by anyone?! He always had answers, not questions, he said, Nathuram, because the Maharaja touched the sword it become the Bhavani, the importance lies in the fist the wields the iron, not the iron itself. You aren’t keeping your ashes behind…you are keeping behind your thoughts and your intentions, these will evolve into weapons.

The only good thing in my life was that I went as iron to Tatyarao, and the alchemy of his touch made me into gold. All the bad habits, mistakes in my life are my own, but whatever good I have done is solely due to Tatyarao’s grace. He has no responsibility in anything wrong I have done. If gold ornaments go from a temple deity to a thief, it is not the fault of the gold is it?

So such as I am, Nathuram Vinayak Godse. My birth was in the first decade of the last century, 19^th May 1910. My father worked in the postal deparment, my mothers name is Lakshmi. You may have heard of several of Vishnu’s avatar’s, but Lakshmi’s avatar only for efforts and poverty, was in the Godse household. She died suffering from separation from her Son. Like Dasharatha, the same love, the same suffering, the same separation. But her Ram wasn’t going to the forest, he was ready for his journey to the next world.  Her Lakshman was rotting in another jail.

My fathers monthly wages were Rs15/-, in Rs10, he used to run to household and send Rs5 to his father. My parents had three children, none survived…they conducted prayers for a child, and I was born. I lived, to fulfil the both destinies, that of my parents not having a child and that of Gandhi getting assassinated.

After that my life was straight forward. I never stole in my childhood, so the question of asking forgiveness from my parents never arose. I never took the oath of celibacy…that, I was doing anyway. I wandered tirelessly among refugees and destitute. I helped them with food and clothes, but because they did not have enough clothes did not mean that I wanted to strip. I did not spin the charkha, I did not clean toilets, I never took a vow of silence till the day I was hung. In that sense, there is only one common point between Gandhi and me, I killed him, and because of that, I was killed. But there is a massive difference, he was willing to live for his ideals, but I was willing to die for mine.

Albeit, there is no reason for you to be interested in this life of mine is there? Who was Hirkani before she climbed the fort? Babu Genu lived in your memory only in the moment of his death where he stood in front of a truck carrying foreign goods. In that sense, Nathuram’s true biography starts from 30^th January 1948, after the assassination of Gandhi.

Frankly speaking, Nathuram’s life was only 655 days 30^th Jan 1948 to 15^th November 1949. My birth then happened on the day when the Indian cabinet agreed to give Pakistan Rs550 million…”